“With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.-Jack Nicholson”

“I think that's what distinguishes Schmidt, really. In the movies now, so much of what is appealing to an audience is the dramatic or has to do with science fiction, and Schmidt is simply human. The...”

“The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.”

“If men are honest, everything they do and everywhere they go is for a chance to see women.”

“Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.”

“If I go into a restaurant there's a very good chance that I'm going to spend my time being the mayor. If I want to have a good time, I'm happier having dinner here.”

“My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging.”

“This has always been a motto of mine: Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work.”

“I have a motto: Work to become, not to acquire.”

“There are going to be good times and bad times, but lighten up.”