“You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker,”

“I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.”

“I talk to younger actor types, and they bring up that word, 'brand,' and it's like, 'All right, if that's the way you want to look at yourself.' Diet Pepsi's a brand; you're a human being.”

“When I do stand-up for a long time, I'll get burned out, then I'll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I'd like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies ...”

“When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.”

“As you get older, you see the world at a different angle, maybe more cynically, but I just bury my anger.”

“I am the perfect version of me.”

“But if you tame me, then weshall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, Ishall be unique in all the world.”

“I don't want the world to keep turning without me on it.”

“He shook his head in wonder. "You are magnificent.""I keep telling everyone that," she said with a nonchalant shrug, "But you seem to be the only one to believe me.”

“For a long moment the butler sat in silence, his jaw hanging open. I . . . my lord, I simply don't feel qualified to advise you about such matters.Don't tell me that, Saint protested. Tell me wheth...”

“He was still thoughtful. 'Do you think any of us ever really knows anyone?' 'Philosophy, Lord Dryden? And yet it's daylight and everyone is still sober.”

“believing sarcasm and rude remarks kept the monsters at bay. They didnt.”

“Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.”

“…believing sarcasm and rude remarks kept the monsters at bay. They didn’t.”