“Growing up in my family meant ambushes on your birthday, crossbows for Christmas, and games of dodge ball where the balls were occasionally rigged to explode. It also meant learning how to work you...”

“Parthenogenesis means never having your mother tell you to stop doing that or you'll go blind.”

“I really dont think you should put your hand inside the manticore, dear. You dont know where its been. Enid Healy”

“Anyone who thinks cryptozoology is the study of the impossible has never really taken a very good look at the so-called "natural world." Once you get past the megamouth sharks, naked mole rats, and...”

“The Argentine tango isn't here to play nicely with the other children. The Argentine tango is here to seduce your women, spill things on your rug, and sneak out your bedroom window in the middle of...”

“The problem with people who say monsters don't really exist is that they're almost never saying it to the monsters." Alice Healy”

“I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me li...”

“I've got about ten things to say to you right now. But at least nine of them would make me sound like a psycho.In spite of the seriousness of the situation, I nearly smiled. Whats the tenth thing? ...”

“A truly happy woman drives some men and almost every other woman absolutely crazy”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”