“FEBRIZIUM(); said Buggeroff, and the foul smell immediately disappeared as if by, well Magic.”

“Lets just say that once the party was over, the Tribe had the decency to put most of the things back into place with the possible, and otherwise notable, exception of the platypus and a moronic dri...”

“There was a rare quality about Nurse Graces smile. It was the knowledge that sooner or later her smile would inspire some witty observer to say something around the lines of, Every time you do this...”

“At the last moment, she remembered that her Master might be watching her and, knowing that good girls bend at the knees while bad girls bend at the waist, she picked up the cigar butt, as it were, ...”

“Merkin had used only one drop of the just soap. Two drops would have made her Master walk slightly awkwardly. Three drops would have made a Victorian gentleman utter something really lustful, such ...”

“The coding was anachronistic, kind of like bokeh in a renaissance painting.”

“Millions of business people are each constantly forced to choose between their desire to not be a bad person and their desire to be a good business person, that is to say, to make as much money as ...”

“Vampire strength might not let me lift cars, but I will tear up some shrubbery all day long.”

“Youre a good man who happens to be a vampire. We arent human, but that doesnt make us monsters.”

“Ragging at its most harmless is embarrassing and silly, but at its worst, it attempts to prevent individual students from independent thinking, attempts, in fact, to eradicate freewill”

“Why is it that at the very moment I need to appear graceful I stumble and fall like a klutz, as though this scene had never played through my mind differently a million times?”

“True poetry is embarrassing.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”