“All porn stars on Animal Farm are equal but some porn scenes are more unequal than others.”

“Psychosis is person less persona, raving sincerity.”

“If the mind fits, shrink it.”

“My son, I dont believe in God, prayer, afterlife or miracles. You may disagree with me on all of these. Id prefer that you agree and reserve rebellion and independence over important issues instead.”

“When all seems hopeless, cross your fingers and stick with the secular prayer.”

“Self talk and self prayer: When you audible the first and correctly interpret, the white coats correct you in a nuthouse. When you audible the second and misinterpret, the dinner coats swear you to...”

“Hey, Geekoid!" yelled Duncan Dougal, "Why do you read so much? Don't you know how to watch TV?”

“The biggest mistake is trusting the wrong people who generally are also the dumbest.”

“We look before and after,And pine for what is not;Our sincerest laughterWith some pain is fraught;Our sweetest songs are those that tell Of saddest thought.”

“I know why we laugh. We laugh because it hurts, and it's the only thing to make it stop hurting.”

“MARCUS ANDRONICUS: Now is a time to storm; why art thou still?TITUS ANDRONICUS: Ha, ha, ha!MARCUS ANDRONICUS: Why dost thou laugh? it fits not with this hour.TITUS ANDRONICUS: Why, I have not anoth...”