“He sighed. It had come to this. He was a responsible authority, and people could use terms like "core values" at him with impunity. ”

“The money will talk?' said Mr Spools carefully.'Imps,' said Moist. 'They're only a sort of intelligent spell. They don't even have to have a shape. We'll print them on the higher denominations.”

“Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Ju...”

“Plans can break down. You cannot plan the future. Only presumptuous fools plan. The wise man steers.”

“You're not going to tell me they built fifty-foot-high killer golems, are you?""Only a man would think of that.It's our job," said Moist. "If you don't think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first,...”

“Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit.”

“There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon)”

“I hate clowns. I've mentioned that, right?”

“Death's gruesome face taunts:soulless eyes, crimson grimace.I really hate clowns.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“Tragedy is like a strong acid - it dissolves away all but the very gold of truth.”

“It often happens that the real tragedies of life occur in suchan inartistic manner that they hurt us by their crude violence, theirabsolute incoherence, their absurd want of meaning, their entire l...”

“Receive what cheer you may. The night is long that never finds the day.”