“To whomever swapped my tattoo cream for toothpaste........ well played.”

“Today I plan to smile a lot, only so people who know me will be freaked the fuck out.”

“I'm the biggest critic of my own work, but sometimes you nail a chapter so good that you have to take a step back and admire that bitch.”

“The best writers tend to look the roughest in photos. At least that's the excuse I use for why I look so bad in mine.”

“Anyone who says "Trust me" is the last motherfucker you should ever trust.”

“This faulty light fitting at the front door with the dangerously flickering bulb looks rather festive. Who says I don't do Christmas?”

“A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit.”

“Writing without revising is the literary equivalent of waltzing gaily out of the house in your underwear.”

“Anyone and everyone taking a writing class knows that the secret of good writing is to cut it back, pare it down, winnow, chop, hack, prune, and trim, remove every superfluous word, compress, compr...”

“I have never known anything to be as exquisite or as excruciating as the Love-Hate relationship I have with writing.”

“As with writing by candlelight, ones greatest ideas come from the flickering between darkness and light.”

“There are times you wake up in the middle of the night, fingers hit the keyboard and you allow words to flow. That is a writer.”

“Mostly, we authors must repeat ourselves - that's the truth. We have two or three great and moving experiences in our lives - experiences so great and moving that it doesn't seem at the time anyone...”

“Five common traits of good writers: (1) They have something to say. (2) They read widely and have done so since childhood. (3) They possess what Isaac Asimov calls a "capacity for clear thought," a...”

“There are lots of guys out there who write a better prose line than I do and who have a better understanding of what people are really like and what humanity is supposed to mean hell, I know that.”