“This is one of mommy's friends, buddy," I told Gavin. (...)"You're Mommy's fwiend?" he questioned. Carter just nodded with his mouth open and no sound coming out. Im pretty sure he didnt even hear ...”

“Oh fuck, he was right there. I was wet as hell and he could probably smell me now. I should have eaten strawberries or melon or a dozen roses or an entire mint plant. Did that work for women? I rea...”

“If you spelled George Morgan wrong on Google it didn't say, "Did you mean George Morgan?" It simply replied, "Run while you still have the chance.”

“It was all fun and games until someone else's dick was in your girlfriend's TMJ mouth”

“If you two yentas are finished discussing Claire’s rabid who-ha, me and the boys would like to eat sometime this century.""You and 'the boys?' You just met them today. Does the Ya Ya Brotherhood al...”

“Money changes people. This process is more commonly known as trading.”

“To my fellow authors heed these words with much importance, " It is redundant for a true writer to sell their soul for literary fame, since the soul is a writer's inner voice...”

“There is always room in my life for a unicorn.(i.e. fantasy)”