“Peter to Austin:"Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid. Which makes me think you must have one 24/7.”

“Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid.”

“Out of curiosity, when do I grow up and become a fullfledgedman with a penis?When words like hump day dont make you giggle like atwelve-year-old, he retorted, blowing smoke my way.Wow, that long?”

“When I was in eighth grade, I used a self-timing camera to take nude pictures of myself in various stages of erection. I then exchanged my biology teachers slides with the images. The teacher, in a...”

“I had one friend with same-sex orientation, and Dana hadn't spoken to me since I asked her to describe her honeymoon in graphic detailand then made vibrator noises.”

“People aren't always who they seem, Detective. Am I anything like you thought?""No," I admitted. You're a million times better than I could have imagined.”

“Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.”

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”

“Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information? Bones asked, getting back to the subject. You to take me, she replied at once. Not gonna happen! I spat, squ...”

“My self-esteem is Teflon coated, baby.”

“And now he smiled at me. All teeth. The way only people who hadnt learned self-consciousnessknew how to smile.”

“Getting caught is what I do best. It is either a natural talent (which means we can blame my family genes) or a well-hewn craft (in which case we can still blame my parents).”

“Never Give up, never surrender.”

“Several Terminal Policy readers got together to tell Raker jokes: - Raker CAN piss into the wind. - Raker donates a lot of blood to the Red Cross -- just never his own. - Superman wears Raker paj...”

“There was no one alive who did not contribute his share of mystery to the world.”