“My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.”

“I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?”

“I saw a stationery store move.”

“My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.”

“It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.”

“I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.”

“nights and days came and passedand summer and winterand the sun and the windand the rain.and it was good to be a little islanda part of the worldand a world of its ownall surrounded by the bright b...”

“When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters a table leg breaks or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart...”

“A good friend of mine once said, "I have never met a bigot who was a reader as a child.”

“Symbolic of life, hair bolts from our head[s]. Like the earth, it can be harvested, but it will rise again. We can change its color and texture when the mood strikes us, but in time it will return ...”

“Naked you are blue like the night in Cuba,you have vines and stars in your hair,”

“Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”