“Man. Being mostly dead is hard on a guy.”

“I had this teacher who kept telling me that if I was ever in a fair fight, someone had made a mistake, she said”

“I kept a straight face while my inner Neanderthal spluttered and then went on a mental rampage through a hypothetical produce section, knocking over shelves and spattering fruit everywhere in sheer...”

“Maybe this was a male-female translation problem. I read an article once that said that when women have a conversation, they're communicating on five levels. They follow the conversation that they'...”

“...when women have a conversation, they're communicating on five levels. They follow the conversation that they're actually having, the conversation that is specifically being avoided, the tone bei...”

“Honest. It's almost always best to go with honest. It means you never have to worry about getting your story straight.”

“Tears are words the heart can't express”

“Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on.”

“Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”

“Those who work, knows the strength of labour.”

“I only have so much willpower, Helen," he whispered. "And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I've ever seen, I'm going to have to ask you to get under the cove...”

“I'm infatuated with you, I cannot deny it. Physically speaking, you're a very attractive man. But I don't like you, the vast majority of the time. So far as I can gather, you behave abominably in p...”