“Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!”

“Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?”

“I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.”

“I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.”

“A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.”

“I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.”

“Youre probably wondering what the heck I mean by The Pillars of Your Life, right? Well this is simple. Its the things that make your life what it is. The things or people that make you, you. Theres...”

“That was when it was all made painfully clear to me. When you are a child, there is joy. There is laughter. And most of all, there is trust. Trust in your fellows. When you are an adult...then come...”

“I am convinced that most people do not grow up...We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, an...”

“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“Hard work should be rewarded by good food.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”