Forget bringing the troops home from Iraq. We need to get the troops home from World War II. Can anybody tell me why, in 2009, we still have more than sixty thousand troops in Germany and thirty thousand in Japan? At some point, these people are going to have to learn to rape themselves. Our soldiers have been in Germany so long they now wear shorts with black socks. You know that crazy soldier hiding in the cave on Iwo Jima who doesnt know the war is over? Thats us.Bush and Cheney used to love to keep Americans all sphinctered-up on the notion that terrorists might follow us home. But actually, were the people who go to your home and then never leave. Heres the facts: The Republic of America has more than five hundred thousand military personnel deployed on more than seven hundred bases, with troops in one hundred fifty countrieswere like McDonalds with tanksincluding thirty-seven European countriesbecause you never know when Portugal might invade Euro Disney. And this doesnt even count our secret torture prisons, which are all over the place, but you never really see them until someone brings you therekinda like IHOP.Of course, Americans would never stand for this in reversewe can barely stand letting Mexicans in to do the landscaping. Can you imagine if there were twenty thousand armed Guatemalans on a base in San Ber-nardino right now? Lou Dobbs would become a suicide bomber.And why? How did this country get stuck with an empire? Im not saying were Rome. Rome had good infrastructure. But we are an empire, and the reason is because once America lands in a country, there is no exit strategy. Were like cellulite, herpes, and Irish relatives: We are not going anywhere. We love you long time!
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About Bill Maher
Bill Maher was a 20th-century American comedian and television host. William Maher is an American television host, comedian, actor and political commentator. Known for his political satire, he is the host of the HBO political talk show Real Time with Bill Maher (2003–present) and podcast Club Random (2022–present). Read more on Wikipedia →