“Feel no guilt. Getting married and giving birth does not mean that you have sold your life away to perfectly healthy people who can get their own damn socks.”

“You want sensitive and understanding, stick with the therapist.You want great,headbanging sex, get off the fucking phone and come with me.”

“His sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which was par for a politician. All nouns, no action. ”

“Heartache often drives us to consume things we wouldn't otherwise, such as an entire pint of Caramel Pecan Perfection high-fat ice cream, covered in ganache, the crack cocaine of frozed dairy. Twel...”

“Of course it hurt you neanderthal! See that? Thats blood. If theres blood, theres pain. Its like smoke and fire.”

“You have to open up to the world and learn optimism...Contentment with the past, happiness with the present, and hope for the future. Learned optimisim.”

“The doctor's wife wasn't a bad woman. She was sufficiently convinced of her own importance to believe that God actually did watch everything she did and listen to everything she said, and she was t...”

“Scratch a cynic and you will find a disappointed romantic.”

“The first rule in life is 'everybody lies.' Remember that and you'll get a lot further.”

“No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong.”

“They say the distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success, I believe you can say the same thing about the distance between good and evil.”

“A cynic always focuses on problems and not on possibilities.”

“To be of value to humanity, start by thinking for yourself.”

“Love is not an emotion. It is your very existence.”

“The General belonged to the learned type of military men who believed that liberal and humane views can be reconciled with their profession. But being by nature a kind and intelligent man, he soon ...”