“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”

“Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned...”

“My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her...”

“Men dont realize that if were sleeping with them on the first date, were probably not interested in seeing them again either.”

“My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic cl...”

“My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have ...”

“The challenge lies in knowing how to bring this sort of day to a close. His mind has been wound to a pitch of concentration by the interactions of the office. Now there are only silence and the fla...”

“Disillusioned, people simply carried out their work as intended, drinking away sobriety at the end of each hard shift and repeating the process until death.”

“My mind feels like a beehive without the buzz.”

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”

“I never will suggest you to drink energy drinks, they taste like hell!”

“Tonight, I decided to take a stroll down to my local liquor store. Maybe Ill find a refreshment to wash down this full moon. I hate showing up & the clerk fucking knows my name, perhaps because Im ...”

“It's interesting how interesting uninteresting people get after a few drinks.”