“I barely took a moment to appreciate nature. Come to think of it, theonly time I did it was when I was so upset I wanted to commit suicide in theHuang Pu river.”

“She doesn't need your money. Even a penniless fool like you can make her fall in love with you. That's just miracle.”

“If this constant bitter disappointment was love, then I was perfectly fine not to have anything to do with it.”

“While I still did not know what self- actualization that sat on the top level of the pyramid meant, I could believethat if I knew I would be able to say something positive about it as well inmy life.”

“He advised that I could invest in stocks to make money. Given that I have a negative balance, that was where the conversation stopped.”

“Happiness in a family really revolves around how much money I have in my disposal.”

“Guess I am going to take a man-nap. Wake me up when there is food.”

“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“Hard work should be rewarded by good food.”

“God, don't they teach you how to spell these days?""No," I answer. "They teach us to use spell-check.”

“Standing in the shower, I feel something on the back of my leg that turns out to be my ass.”

“Standing in the shower, I feel something on the back of my leg that turns out to be my ass.”