“Can I see some ID?" "WE DON'T HAVE ID," said Jay, loudly. "'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID...THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN." Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy...”

“What part of Canada are you from, honey?""THE LEFT PART," said Jay.”

“Jay lurched in one direction, jerked back, lurched in another, tripped for no reason. He finally made it through a gauntlet of invisible obstacles and crouched behind a water fountain shaped like a...”

“...a row of tables manned by seated, serious women. Each woman looked like she could be someone's least-favourite aunt.”

“There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good.”

“Why would a vampire create a younger vampire if there was a possibility the young one might end up destroying the old one?'Stephin stared. 'If you can explain to me how this is different from paren...”

“The rider evolved to serve to the elephant.”

“Right now I've got just two rules to live by.Rule one: don't taunt elephants.Rule two: don't stand next to anybody who taunts elephants.-Sergeant Schlock”

“That's odd. It looks almost as if Nick is picking a fight with that elephant.""Well, the elephant started it.""That's irrelevant. Fighting with civilians is against the rules. Go break it up."-Admi...”

“Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.”

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”

“Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information? Bones asked, getting back to the subject. You to take me, she replied at once. Not gonna happen! I spat, squ...”