“Some of us feel the need to experience life before bending to the will of an arcane society.”

“In what way did your parents screw up to make you the woman you are today?”

“You have a travel vibrator, so I assume you call this one your house vibrator. Store one in your dashboard for a car vibrator too? What about your desk at work? And do they each have their own name...”

“What exactly does that expression even mean? An ass that wont quit? Think about the primary function of an assId think thats the sort of thing you might want to quit.”

“One day she was going to be found dead mid-hump on a polyurethane phallus”

“Vibrizzio? You named it! Okay, this isnt even close to healthy.”

“Don't get your panties in such a twist... and give me back mine.”

“Listen, I'm bossy. I can't help it. It's who I am and what I do. I'm pushy and I like to take over. But I'm going to work really hard not to do so much and your going to try and accept me the way I...”

“Possess. Have. Hold. Enjoy. Control. Dominate. Pick your verb, Ms. Fairchild. I intend to explore so very many of them.”

“Fantasies hurt. They hurt hard and deep. They lifted you up to places that you could never reach, then they let you down with a crash.”

“Women forget all the past moments of the most intimate moments and the good sex when they have the next level of best sex with someone else. They just need someone to take out their hidden fantasies.”

“Fantasy Is Not Reality, it is unrealistic to expect your future mate to match your fantasies.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”