Quotes by Lemony Snicket

“There was a bag of coffee beans beneath a harpoon gun and a frozen hunk of spinach, but there was no way to grind the beans into tiny pieces to make coffee. Near a picnic basket and a large bag of ...”

“They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie.”

“I have gone into town to buy a few last things we need for the expedition: Peruvian wasp repellent, toothbrushes, canned peaches, and a fireproof canoe. It will take a while to find the peaches, so...”

“Terrible fires resemble terrible people. They are unpredictable. They are selfish. they are deadly and ruinous. And no matter where they are prowling, no matter what treachery they are cooking up, ...”

“It was a puzzle, a dark and lonely one, and if I were a piece in this puzzle, I did not know where it belonged. I needed to put myself aside, just for a little while, until I saw where I might fit in.”

“Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.”

“When you find the sort of people who will show up to give you a ride exactly when they've promised to do so, hold on to them for dear life.”

“The trouble with being patient is that eventually you get tired of it.”

“There's no way to tell what will make someone break down in tears. There are some who will cry at the merest melancholy word, and there are some who need the longest, cruelest speech to even dampen...”

“If you're not scared, she told me, it's not bravery.”

“It is unwise to make something permanent when the whole world is shifting.”

“But some secrets are so strange and so dangerous that showing them to people makes the strangeness and the danger pour into their lives like a dark, dark ink.”

“People who think nothing could go wrong are usually disappointed.”

“There are some things you cannot explain to anyone, even whey they have been explained to you, over and over, almost since the day you were born.”

“Are you saying that being a criminal is a matter of opinion?" I asked.Qwerty smiled, but it was sad around the edges. "No," he said. "It's a matter of handcuffs.”

“It was another thing you didn't learn at a top-drawer school. Bickering is like baldness or lousy gifts. It runs in families.”

“Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.”

“It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, because you brush harder and do a better job.”

“I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and ...”

“There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one's hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little pegs.”