Quotes by Greg Behrendt

“If hes not calling you, its because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesnt follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this an...”

“I'm about to make a wild, extreme and severe relationship rule: the word busy is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word "busy" is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. I...”

“Here's something else to think about: calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you a...”

“Lets start with this statistic: You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly ...”

“You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You dont need another. Make a space in your life fo...”

“When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how youd like them to be.”

“I believe in love the verb, not the noun.”

“There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relati...”

“We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also ...”

“Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.”

“Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.) ”

“We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, Youre not theone. We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or bothor even worse, cry and yell at us.”

“The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.”

“..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.”

“He doesn't need to be reminded you're great.”

“He doesnt have to love your CD collection. He doesnt have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and familyespecially when theyre great.”

“First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend”

“A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, te...”

“Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.”

“You are not easily forgotten.”