Quotes by Finley Peter Dunne

“Whin a man gets to be my age he ducks political meetin's an' reads th' papers an' weighs th' ividence an' th' argymints - pro-argymints an' con-argymints an' makes up his mind ca'mly an' votes ...”

“The time is comin' whin not more thin hath iv us'll be rale an' th' rest'll be rubber (plastic!)”

“A firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in the ground an' cracks in th' wall to support belief but they run away fr'm doubt.”

“Th' prisidincy is th' highest office in th' gift iv th people. Th' vice-prisidincy is th' next highest an' the lowest. It isn't a crime exactly. Ye can't be sint to jail f r it but it's a kind iv ...”

“Vice goes a long way tow'rd makin' life bearable. A little vice now an' thin is relished by th' best iv men.”

“I see gr-reat changes takin' place ivry day but no change at all ivry fifty years.”

“You can lead a man up to the university but you can't make him think.”

“No matter whether the Constitution follows the flag or not the Supreme Court follows the election returns.”

“A man's idee in a card game is war- crool devastatin' and pitiless. A lady's idee iv it is a combynation iv larceny embezzlement an' burglary.”

“Whin a man gets to be my age he ducks political meetin's an' reads th' papers an' weighs th' ividence an' th' argymints - pro-argymints an' con-argymints an' makes up his mind ca'mly an' votes th' ...”

“The time is comin' whin not more thin hath iv us'll be rale an' th' rest'll be rubber (plastic!)”

“Sure, politics ain't bean-bag. 'Tis a man's game, an' women, childer, cripples an' prohybitionists 'd do well to keep out iv it.”

“Th’ dead ar-re always pop’lar. I knowed a society wanst to vote a monyment to a man an’ refuse to help his fam’ly, all in wan night.”

“In England a man is presoomed to be innocent till he's proved guilty an' they take it f 'r granted he's guilty. In this counthry a man is presoomed to be guilty ontil he's proved guilty an' afther ...”

“Whin annything was wrote about a man 'twas put this way: We undhershtand on good authority that M-l-chi H---y, Esquire, is on thrile before Judge G---n on an accusation iv l--c-ny. But we don't thi...”

“Thrust ivrybody—but cut th' ca-ards.”

“A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks th' Lord wud do if He knew th' facts iv th' case.”

“Th' Turkey bur-rd's th' rale cause iv Thanksgivin'. He's th' naytional air. Abolish th' Turkey an' ye desthroy th' tie that binds us as wan people.”

“But don't ask f'r rights. Take thim. An' don't let anny wan give thim to ye. A right that is handed to ye fer nawthin' has somethin' th' mather with it. It's more than likely it's only a wrong turn...”

“All politics is local.”