“The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better -- it is just turning around as usual.”

“Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.”

“Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th' ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th' afflicted, afflic...”

“Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.”

“The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.”

“The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.”

“If you are as happy my dear sir on entering this house as I am in leaving it and returning home you are the happiest man in this country.”

“I would rather be right than President.”

“No man will ever bring out of the Presidency the reputation which carries him into it.”