“The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better -- it is just turning around as usual.”

“Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.”

“Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th' ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th' afflicted, afflic...”

“Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.”

“The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.”

“The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.”

“On the night of New Years Day, I thought of a wonderful New Years resolution for the men who run the world: get to know the people who only live in it.”

“The difference between a politician and a statesman is that a politician thinks about the next election while the statesman think about the next generation.”

“He was a consummate politician-- which is to say he was given to expedient speech and lacked even a vestigial spine.”