Quotes by Douglas Adams

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”

“The story so far:In the beginning the Universe was created.This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inex...”

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously som...”

“The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

“Don't Panic.”

“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”

“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.”

“So this is it," said Arthur, "We are going to die.""Yes," said Ford, "except... no! Wait a minute!" He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this s...”

“A towel, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you f...”

“If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.”

“It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport.”

“He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.”

“I don't accept the currently fashionable assertion that any view is automatically as worthy of respect as any equal and opposite view. My view is that the moon is made of rock. If someone says to m...”

“What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. A...”

“My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and that I am therefore excused from saving universes.”

“If I ever meet myself,' said Zaphod, 'I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me.”

“He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.”