Quotes by Chris Rock

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing th...”

“You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna g...”

“You dont need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, thats right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars five thous...”

“I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity. ”

“Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?”

“Women need food, water, and complimentsThat's right.And an occasional pair of shoes.”

“You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense”

“Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.”

“We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to shit. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a fucking lactose intolerance?!”

“Men are as faithful as their options.”

“Men lie the most,women tell the biggest lies.”

“You got a gun, you don't have to work out.”

“If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.”

“Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everyone else.”

“Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.”

“There's some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you...”

“Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.”

“I love being famous. It's almost like being white.”

“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”

“I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge.”