“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing th...”

“You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna g...”

“You dont need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, thats right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars five thous...”

“I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity. ”

“Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?”

“Women need food, water, and complimentsThat's right.And an occasional pair of shoes.”