Quotes by Bobby Heenan

“North Dakota State. What do you have to do there to graduate? Milk a cow with your left hand?”

“There's only two kinds of music I don't like... Country and Western.”

“Everyone should have cancer one time - then you'd know that other things aren't important. The guy that gives you the finger at the stoplight don't mean nothing anymore. You come home and something...”

“The money's the same, whether you earn it or scam it.”

“You can win, it'll just cost you some money.”

“I don't look at myself as a hero or smart person. I have a seventh-grade education, but I've had a lot of fun.”

“Brain: If the Bossman's mother was in there, the match would've been over by now. Diamond would've been carried away laughing, holding his nose (Referring to a match with Dustin Rhodes against Paul...”

“Gorilla: Hello ladies. (referring to the Rosatti sisters. The Rosatti's are several rather large women who, among other things, were regulars on the short-lived USA Network program The Bobby Heenan...”

“Gorilla: (again talking about the Rossatis) Hey Brain, they recognized you. Brain: The only thing they recognize is a buffet.”

“Brain: Now THAT'S no way to introduce a man like Hillbilly Jim!! Monsoon: Well, how would YOU do it, Brain?? Brain: Ladies and Gentlemen... the HICK FROM MUD LICK, HILLBILLY JIM!!!”

“Well, we know the Blue Blazer is really, really agile and really, really stupid.”

“Brain: (on w:Real American, w:Hulk Hogan's theme music) That's my second favorite song. Gorilla: I'm almost afraid to ask...what's your favorite? Brain: All the rest are tied.”

“Brain: Do you know what Koko B. Ware's mom's name is? Gorilla: What? Brain: Tupper”

“You had 700,000 votes to get into the Hall Of Fame. You'd have had a lot more, but you ran out of stamps. (To Bob Uecker, at WrestleMania IV)”

“Gorilla: (Referring to Koko B. Ware's bird, Frankie) Those birds can live to be twenty-five or thirty years old. Brain: Not in my house. Gorilla: I'm sure... Brain: If he was in my house he'd be in...”

“You know, Big Boss Man's mom used to wrestle. She wrestled as Battle Sow. One was, after a match with Battle Cat, they went back to the studio.”

“Parts Unknown, it usually means Downtown Newark.”

“As I enter the field of broadcast journalism--with the likes of Walter Cronkite, Edward R. Murrow, Peter Arnett--I, no doubt, will far, far surpass anything those typewriter-pushers could have ever...”

“Oh my, what a GREAT scientific move—a punch to the head!! (Bobby on Kerry Von Erich and his Tornado Punch)”

“That was Tornado's forte in college. He was a javelin catcher.”