Quotes by Bo Burnham

“Well, man, you know what they say."No, I don't. I don't know what they say. I don't even know who they are. Who is this they? They seem pretty smug. They seem to think they know shit. Fuck them.”

“Read this to yourself. Read it silently.Don't move your lips. Don't make a sound. Listen to yourself. Listen without hearing anything.What a wonderfully weird thing, huh? NOW MAKE THIS PART LOUD! S...”

“Hanged"I hung myself today. Hanged? Whatever,the point is I hanged myself today and Im stillhanging.I feel fine. Just bored. I keep hoping thatsomeone will come home and cut me downbut then I keep ...”

“Sully suffers from a stutter,simple syllables will clutter,stalling speeches up on beacheslike a sunken sailboat rudder.Sully strains to say his phrases,sickened by the sounds he raises,strings of ...”

“I put a chameleon on a red dildo... He blushed”

“MmmmmmI like that thing you do with your tongue. What do you call it? Speaking? Yeah, I dig it”

“9 likes Like Facebook_iconRead this to yourself. Read it silently.Don't move your lips. Don't make a sound. Listen to yourself. Listen without hearing anything.What a wonderfully weird thing, huh? ...”

“Cup of JoeThere's nothing like a cup of joe,when the morning's grey and grim and slow,when the streets collide with the world outside,when litter lies where lilies grow.Just drink that smoking cup ...”

“I love you just the way you arebut you don't see you like I do.You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect.Trust me, perfect should try to be you.”

“I was definitely not the kid that just wanted to be famous for no reason whatsoever and then happened to find comedy. Fame and all that stuff have always been slightly terrifying to me, and it make...”

“The problem for us, as viewers, is that we want famous people who are passionate about the things they're famous for, because that makes them worthy of the attention. But I think many of those famo...”

“I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, 'Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!' My mind was so warped by the...”

“I think it would collapse my heart if I was super famous. I don't have the nerve for it, I'm too anxious. I don't know how you're not obsessed with how people perceive you, because they're real peo...”

“At once I feel that comedy is this amazing sort of transcendent thing, and I'm also open to the fact that maybe it's just an evolutionary hiccup, something that upright apes do in their free time.”

“There's a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that's a bit blurred in my mind.”

“Forever and an InstantForever and an instant met up one day,had a short but lovely talk,then each went on its way.”

“In high school, I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.”

“9 likes Like Facebook_icon“Read this to yourself. Read it silently.Don't move your lips. Don't make a sound. Listen to yourself. Listen without hearing anything.What a wonderfully weird thing, huh?...”

“Walkin' my poodles, man, it never gets oldWith my dogs on the leash, I got bitches on the holdA first-AIDS kit? That's a rhesus monkey I bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie”

“High school party, senior yearBoys and girls are all sippin' on beerI like soda / Where's the soda?Am I the only fuckin' person here that likes soda?”