9 quotes found
Comedian · American
American comedian
“I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.”
“The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.”
“That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.”
“I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.”
“I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.”
“I am not a vegetarian because I love animals I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.”
“I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end.”
“There are a billion people in China. It's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a BILLION people. That means even if you're a one-in-a-millio...”
“Who would have thought that the fatal flaw of communism would be that there's no money it.”
