“I loved you as a boy and fell in love with you as a man. Youre in here so deep that there is no you, no me. Only us.”

“Matters of the heart were important, but people tended to put too much stock in the particular organ when, in retrospect, it was only tissue. It pumped blood and the body couldnt live without it, s...”

“She needed to come with an instructional manual. And one not written in Spanish.”

“Orgasms are a myth. Like good credit scores.”

“He couldve penned a rendition of Moby Dick in Pig Latin and he wouldnt have been the wiser.”

“He bit back a weary sigh and tried to remember strangling her would solve squat.”

“Hank Knight asked questions about Jesse Rose and an item that was taken from her crib the night she was kidnapped. His questions led our lawyer to believe Hank had knowledge about the crime and pos...”

“Her gaze locked with his and she felt her heart quicken. Slowly, he bent his head until his lips were only a breath away from her own. She couldn't breathe. Didn't dare. She thought she would die i...”

“Funny how women are ashamed of their inner fairy whereas men are forever proudly displaying their inner cowboy or fireman”

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”

“This tree, though, had not been fed on, so it was apparent that the culprit was a bull (elephant) who was filled with testosterone but no outlet for it, so he pushed over trees. It's a great releas...”

“And I got out of there without punching anyone, kicking anyone, or breaking down in tears. Some days the small victories are all you achieve.”

“If you're at the end of your rope . . . untie the knot in your heart.”