“I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland.”

“The human mind is not a terribly logical or consistent place.”

“The human mind isn't a terribly logical or consistent place. Most people, given the choice to face a hideous or terrifying truth or to conveniently avoid it, choose the convenience and peace of nor...”

“This is Waldo Butters, and his geek penis is longer and harder than any of ours put together.”

“You're in America now," I said. "Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you'd prefer.”

“As far as the Council is concerned, the U.S. Wardens are a bunch of mushrooms.""Eh?""Kept in the dark and fed on bullshit.”

“Molly was arrested. Possession. I blinked at him. She was possessed?”

“HARRY DRESDENWIZARD Lost Items Found. Paranormal Investigations. Consulting. Advice. Reasonable Rates. No Love Potions, Endless Purses, Parties, or Other Entertainment”

“Like “love,” “hope” is one of those ridiculously disproportional words that by all rights should be a lot longer.”

“If you want romance, fuck a journalist.”

“That's the thing with keeping up appearances, Rose; people will do anything to get one and anything to keep one.”

“I had never seen the end of day and the beginning of the night greet each other. We were caught in the loveliness between the two. A House Like a Lotus”