“I am aware I sound like a Marxist Victor Meldrew but, guess what, I'm over 50 and I don't give a fuck.”

“Conventionality is not morality. Self-righteousness is not religion. To attack the first is not to assail the last.”

“If there is anything that links the human to the divine, it is the courage to stand by a principle when everybody else rejects it.”

“I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”