“If love makes the world go around, then money greases the axles.”

“I have never met a politician who has exceeded my low expectations of them.”

“The prerequisite for a banker is Strait As and no talent.”

“I have a face for radio and a voice for writing.”

“Never confuse determination with arrogance. Arrogance will look down on you, determination will run over you.”

“I would prefer to try and fail than to not try at all.”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”