“To the extent a man can control chaos, he should put his testicles on the line and do so, but when a man can't, he should just step aside, or someone in the lineup behind him is gonna bite his ass.”

“My father believes with his entire soul that the meek shall inherit the earth. My children will inherit the earth but they will not be meek.”

“Are we praying?" "If you have to ask, you probably aren't.”

“You can't say asses in church unless you are speaking of donkeys.”

“She placed her hands, one on each of his shoulders, stood on her toes and kissed him on the lips. He waited, enjoying the moment like none before.”

“I am not a teacher in my heart," she said. "I am a doer, and all these little shitheads in front of me are do-nothings. There is racism in the world and they acknowledge it, but they sit in class l...”

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”

“work at our responsibility as parents as if everything in life counted on it, because in fact everything in life does count on it.”

“Happiness [is] only real when shared”

“That's what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you're not so lovable.”