“Good morning, Hell-A. In the land of the lotus-eaters, time plays tricks on you. One day youre dreaming, the next, your dream has become your reality. It was the best of times. If only someone had ...”

“That was not sex. That was naked poetry.”

“I cant teach you how to write, and anybody who says they can is full of shit.”

“She said one thing and I said another and the next thing I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation.”

“You know why love stories have happy endings?” I shake my head.“Because they end too early,” she continues. “They always end right at the kiss. You never have to see all the bullshit that comes lat...”

“When it comes to emotions, women know how to paint with the full set of oils, while men are busy doodling with crayons.”

“In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find and continue to find grounds for marriage.”

“You don't know when you're twenty-three.You don't know what it really means to crawl into someone else's life and stay there. You can't see all the ways you're going to get tangled, how you're goin...”

“Even the jerks earn some of our affection. We can be glad they're gone and yet still mourn the good parts.”

“Hey lady. Sandy wrapped her arms around Darcys neck and kissed her cheek quickly. So, are we burning anything of his in some occult ritual that will curse him and all his unborn children till the e...”

“Hey lady.” Sandy wrapped her arms around Darcy’s neck and kissed her cheek quickly. “So, are we burning anything of his in some occult ritual that will curse him and all his unborn children till th...”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”