“Manwho lives in three places in the past, in the present, and in the future can be unhappy if one of these three is worthless. Religion has even added a fourth eternity.”

“Many are less fortunate than you may not be a roof to live under, but it will serve to retire beneath in the event of a shower.”

“If we thought more for ourselves we would have very many more bad books and very many more good ones.”

“When they have discovered truth in nature they fling it into a book, where it is even worse hands.”

“...if we gained only one incontestable truth every ten years from each of our philosophical writers the harvest we reaped would be sufficient.”

“It is almost impossible to carry the torch of truth through a crowd without singeing somebody's beard.”

“I know this goes without saying, but Stonehenge really was the most incredible accomplishment. It took five hundred men just to pull each sarsen, plus a hundred more to dash around positioning the ...”

“JACKThat is nonsense. If I marry a charming girl like Gwendolen, and she is the only girl I ever saw in my life that I would marry, I certainly won't want to know Bunbury.ALGERNONThen your wife wil...”

“First of all, you must never speak of anything by its name -- in that country. So, if you see a tree on a mountain, it will be better to say 'Look at the green on the high'; for that's how they tal...”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”