“I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.”

“Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten thin...”

“It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.”

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”

“We're so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody's going to save something now. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. And the supreme arrogance? Save the planet! Are these...”

“Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”

“Babies are the buds of life ready to bloom like a fresh flower to refresh humanity.”

“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”

“The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”