“Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relat...”

“You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The lastpresent you gave me was a stick.You wanted a weapon.It was a stick.It had a bow on it.It was a stick.I thought you liked the stick. You la...”

“You look angry," he said."You put me on hold.""For a very good reason.""You put me," she said very, very slowly, "on hold.”

“Of course I want to kill you," said Skulduggery. "I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to.”

“If anyone stops us, as long as we mumble something pretentious about the glory of death, we should be fine.”

“Every once in a while, I get the urge. You know what Im talking about, dont you? The urge for destruction. The urge to hurt, maim, kill. Its quite a thing, to experience that urge, to let it wash o...”

“You think Bernadette Maguire killed him?Uh no. Shes, like I said, shes old.Old people can kill people too.I know, butShe could be a ninja.Shes not a ninja, for Gods sake. Shes somebodys great grand...”

“She let out a laugh, and then she put her hand over her mouth, like she was angry at herself for forgetting her sadness.”

“If you don't learn to laugh at life it'll surely kill you, that I know.”

“Through all of living have much joy and laughter, life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.”

“Later she would think about how he'd snuck up on her so silently. The man was on crutches - what was he, a ninja or something?”

“True ninjas are always outnumbered, because they are individuals.”