“Im waiting for the day when Rush Limbaughs pharmacist writes a book.”

“Remember what happened last time with the 'cuda.”

“Sunset on the water ought to be a quiet and easy time, but I guess some people can't stand a little silence.”

“As far as I'm concerned, the gator that ate T.C. deserves a medal from Crime Stoppers.”

“My father's a large man, very strong, but he says fighting is for people who can't win with their brains. He also says there are times when you've got no choice but to defend yourself from common m...”

“That's the thing about being a Labrador retriever - you were born for fun. Seldom was your loopy, freewheeling mind cluttered by contemplation, and never at all by somber worry; every day was a rom...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“Stupidity and wisdom meet in the same centre of sentiment and resolution, in the suffering of human accidents.”

“If this man had not twelve thousand a year, he would be a very stupid fellow.”

“There are only 2 paths to happiness in life. Utter Stupidity or Exceptional Wealth.”