“(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill".”

“Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.”

“Said Hamlet to Ophelia,I'll draw a sketch of thee.What kind of pencil shall I use?2B or not 2B?”

“A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush”

“My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.”

“On the Ning Nang NongWhere the Cows go Bong!And the Monkeys all say Boo!Theres a Nang Nong NingWhere the trees go Ping!And the tea pots Jibber Jabber JooOn the Nong Ning NangAll the Mice go Clang!A...”

“Im a dot in the grand scheme of things. I dont matter, not even to the other dots.”

“Music is a writer's heartbeat.”

“Gratitude is the gateway to a positive life.”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”

“For you can't hear Irish tunes without knowing you're Irish, and wanting to pound that fact into the floor.”

“Lunch looks grand, Meg. Youve really outdone yourself, James commented, loading his plate. He frowned down at an escaping carrot extending precariously over the plate edge andeased it back with his...”

“Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy.”