“Don't write to sell, write to tell.”

“Believe in human beings - not all are good, but deep down all can be. But that doesn't mean you need to hang around crappy people and try to turn them around.”

“Be the kind of person who catches the shit before it hits the fan, not the one who scrapes it off afterwards.”

“Make life easier by living in the present and believing in the future.”

“If you appreciate the small things, you're likely to get the big ones.”

“Stay humble as a writer: write on toilet paper.”

“What's the whole point of being pretty on the outside when youre so ugly on the inside?”

“You may be married to a star, but that doesn't mean they'll treat you like one.”

“Heartbreak is a loss. Divorce is a piece of paper.”

“There is no greater power than that of a laugh and happiness is a force which can save a person from the horrors of the world.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”

“In Hollywood, no one knows anything.”

“Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. I know, because I turned down the first offer often enough and held out for the fifty cents.”

“Well,said Ernest, by some strange coincidence I know this story.Boddichek was not good at irony. I knew that there was that possibility, he said, but we have a great new way to treat it, and I thou...”