“Guns are our friends because in a country without guns, I'm what's known as "prey." All females are.”

“I'm a Christian first, and a mean-spirited, bigoted conservative second, and don't you ever forget it. You know who else was kind of "divisive" in terms of challenging the status quo and the powers...”

“The Democratic Party supports criminals and Islamic terrorists but has no sympathy for taxpayers.”

“As far as I'm concerned, I'm a middle-of-the-road moderate and the rest of you are crazy.”

“We've finally given liberals a war against fundamentalism, and they don't want to fight it. They would, except it would put them on the same side as the United States.”

“I am the illegal alien of commentary. I will do the jokes that no one else will do.”

“Ive been fighting to be who I am all my life. Whats the point of being who I am, if I cant have the person who was worth all the fighting for?”

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

“We got a fightin' side a mile wide, but we pray for peace 'cause it's mostly us that end up servin' overseas.”

“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”

“Poor people have been voting for big government liberalism for 50 years... and they are still poor.”

“We want to believe something very similar about racism and accusations of racism. If we can prove that a particular allegation of racism is unfounded or untrue, we can all breathe a collective sigh...”