“The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better -- it is just turning around as usual.”

“Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.”

“Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th' ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th' afflicted, afflic...”

“Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.”

“The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.”

“The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.”

“If we could survive without a wife, citizens of Rome, all of us would do without that nuisance; but since nature has so decreed that we cannot manage comfortably with them, nor live in any way with...”

“When we are at peace within our marriage, the effects can be astounding! We will raise happier children, become better employees, and overall find the joy in life.”

“Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.”