“Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.”

“My life needs editing. ”

“I used to go to two movies every week for the Saturday matinee when I was a kid.”

“Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. Had he run unopposed he would have lost.”

“Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.”

“My life needs editing.”

“He dug so deeply into her sentiments that in search of interest he found love, because by trying to make her love him he ended up falling in love with her. Petra Cotes, for her part, loved him more...”

“When what you want is a relationship, and not a person, get a dog.”

“When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value the only companion we will have from birth to death - ourselves.”