“Kind 'Guardian' readers have been forwarding me round robin Christmas newsletters for years now: lengthy missives full of perfect children, exotic holidays, talented pets and endless, tedious detai...”

“During my own gap year, I learned an invaluable lesson - that I was a lousy teacher. Even though the children I 'taught,' in upcountry Uganda, were desperate for qualifications, they largely ignore...”

“I know of no wars started by anyone to impose lack of religion on someone else. We have lethal Sunni v Shia, Catholic against Protestant, but no agnostic suicide bombers attack crowded atheist pubs.”

“It's sad that the BBC is toning down Dennis the Menace for a cartoon series. He is losing his weapons, catapult and peashooter, will no longer pick on Walter the Softy, and his ferocious grimace is...”

“I think the great thing about grandparents is seeing another home, realising that people you love can have different priorities, different diversions, different opinions and lead quite different li...”

“Living in New York is like being at some terrible late-night party. You're tired you've had a headache since you arrived but you can't leave because then you'd miss the party.”

“I have spent weeks in the desert, forgetting to look at the moon, he says, as a married man may spend days never looking into the face of his wife. These are not sins of omission but signs of pre-o...”

“I am a Canadian, free to speak without fear, free to worship in my own way, free to stand for what I think right, free to oppose what I believe wrong, or free to choose those who shall govern my co...”

“You know, Dorothy, you cant let people bring you down so easily or youll have your nose in the dirt for the rest of your life. From what I make of it, for every person with a good thought, there ar...”

“You know you've reached a new plateau of group mediocrity when even a Canadian is alarmed by your lack of individuality.”

“She and Marie were Montreal girls, not trained to accompany heroes, or to hold out for dreams, but just to be patient.”

“Nonsense. Everyone knows Canadians are a peaceful people. He was laughing now.Tell that to the White House circa 1812, I told him.Oh? Why?Because thats the year the peace-loving Canadians burned it...”