“Life wasn't too bad. The trouble with Man was, even while he was having a good time, he didn't appreciate it. Why, thought Milligan, this very moment might be the happiest in me life. The very thou...”

“Author? Author? Did you write these legs?''Yes."'Well, I don't like dem. I don't like 'em at all at all. I could ha' writted better legs meself.”

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”

“For you can't hear Irish tunes without knowing you're Irish, and wanting to pound that fact into the floor.”

“Lunch looks grand, Meg. Youve really outdone yourself, James commented, loading his plate. He frowned down at an escaping carrot extending precariously over the plate edge andeased it back with his...”

“Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy.”