“If you dont want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you wont have to work.”

“People are like M&Ms. They come in a variety of colors, they're hard on the outside, and full of obscene yumminess on the inside.”

“Knowledge was like candy: you never turned it down, especially if you didn't have to work too hard to get it.”

“She grinned, looking for all the world like a sticky-mouthed little girl who had just convinced her gullible mother that she really did drop the first piece of candy into the storm drain and would ...”

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”