“Dippy sniffs box. Dippy cannot comprehend challenging concepts such as "inside" and "outside"- attempts to balance on folded box edge.Dippy falls off box. Box flips over onto Dippy.As Shakespeare w...”

“She drowned all of the catnip mice in Nike's water bowl and I had to take them away after he began drinking the resulting 'nip tea, wearing overalls, and changing all the songs in my favorites play...”

“You know that feeling you get, when the sky has turned green, air raid sirens are blowing, the theme to the "Wizard of Oz" wafts softly through the air, your neighbor has just blown by backwards on...”

“Little known fact- a cat which has just bitten itself in the ass can achieve impressive speed at it dashes madly straight up a curtain.”

“She is an agent of the Devil, possibly escorted out of Hell for behavior which would make a demon go "Ooooo, that's nasty!”

“Let me wake up next to you, have coffee in the morning and wander through the city with your hand in mine, and I'll be happy for the rest of my fucked up little life.”

“Prayer is like coffee for my soul in the morning”

“I'm not everyone's cup of tea, because I'm a kick butt cappuccino with extra milk fluff and chocolate sprinkles!”

“I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume tha...”

“Nobody ever gets what they want when it comes to love.”

“The strength of a love is always misjudged if we evaluate it by its immediate cause and not the stress that went before it, the dark and hollow space full of disappointment and loneliness that prec...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”