“Dippy sniffs box. Dippy cannot comprehend challenging concepts such as "inside" and "outside"- attempts to balance on folded box edge.Dippy falls off box. Box flips over onto Dippy.As Shakespeare w...”

“She drowned all of the catnip mice in Nike's water bowl and I had to take them away after he began drinking the resulting 'nip tea, wearing overalls, and changing all the songs in my favorites play...”

“You know that feeling you get, when the sky has turned green, air raid sirens are blowing, the theme to the "Wizard of Oz" wafts softly through the air, your neighbor has just blown by backwards on...”

“Little known fact- a cat which has just bitten itself in the ass can achieve impressive speed at it dashes madly straight up a curtain.”

“Waking up, for many people, is apparently a positive experience. There are twittering birds and the smell of fresh coffee fills the air.These people do not live at my house.”

“I am quite sure I am more afraid of people who are themselves terrified of the devil than I am of the devil himself.”

“If the devil is sending you thoughts of fear, resist him, stop the thoughts”

“Perhaps living in fear can drive all devils out of a person.”