“The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.”

“Do you know how wizards like to be buried?""Yes!""Well, how?"Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs."Reluctantly.”

“It was long after midnight and the stars looked damp and chilly; the air was full of the busy silence of the night, which is created by hundreds of small furry things treading very carefully in the...”

“Red sky at night, the city's alight.”

“I saved a man's life once,' said Granny. 'Special medicine, twice a day. Boiled water with a bit of berry juice in it. Told him I'd bought it from the dwarves. That's the biggest part of doct'rin, ...”

“The living often dont appreciate how complicated the world looks when you are dead, because while death frees the mind from the straitjacket of three dimensions it also cuts it away from Time, whic...”

“I've been poked and prodded in places I'd always prided myself on keeping untouched for that one special doctor who gives me a ring and a promise someday.”

“I'm going to go where my heart takes me, even if it's a messy road.”

“It's like the commercial, "Once you pop you can't stop." Once you pop a pill, you can't stop. They have you hooked and they know it. Like a drug dealer, they are so happy they have won another loya...”

“As long as one believes in philosophy, one is healthy; sickness begins when one starts to think.”

“Your strength is your wealth.”

“Healthy people learn how to frequently adjust their thoughts to make reality comfortable and realistic.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”